


squish

by super_fast_jelly_fish



Category: Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Crushes, F/F, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Identity Reveal, Light Angst, Pining, Playing it fast and loose with the canon, Secret Identity, Secret Identity Fail, This Is STUPID, em jay more like em gay, gwen ur so bad at having a secret alter ego smh, idek what universe this takes place in, just MJ is sad and gay, oh wait spoilers jkdjkfjsk, which is a very big mood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-16 10:23:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18092525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/super_fast_jelly_fish/pseuds/super_fast_jelly_fish
Summary: MJ has a lot of feelings. Some of them nice, some of them not, and one in particular is just plain confusing.anyways lmk if u want any more of these ladies in the comments my dudes





	1. the squish

**Author's Note:**

> lmao i'm feeling emo and i gotta let it out somewhere and will probably hate this later but hi marvel fandom!! nice of u to drop by  
> the only knowledge i have of gwen and mj is from spider-verse bc i havent watched the non-mcu spider-man movies in forever (i know i know its bad dont hate me) but i saw a drawing of them together a while back and i thought the idea of gwen having her own mj would be really cute!! and she radiates big bi energy anyways so it's fine  
> also i forgot to make peter dead whoops i wouldnt do that to my son sorry guys  
> hmu in the comments i thirst for validation <3

MJ was no stranger to being ignored. She knew she was… abrasive, to say the least. She went after what she wanted, and often forgot to account for everyone else’s feelings in the process. She was a lot to handle. Despite this, MJ was nowhere near lacking in popularity. Everyone liked to say hi to her in the hallways, and ask her how her weekend was, and inquire about how to do the English homework.

That was it, though. Most people she considered friends didn’t ever go beyond the small talk stage. The way MJ saw it, she was sort of an entertaining pet for her classmates. She supposed she didn’t do anything much to stop this concept, with the amount of energy and enthusiasm she put forth every day. At this point it felt like a duty to her. If she didn’t cheer up the people around her, then who would?

She did have a few good friends, though. She made a couple in choir, Betty and Glory. MJ enjoyed choir a lot. It was easy, and fun, and the singers there had passion and zeal to match her own.

And she had Peter, her best friend for as long as her memory allowed, if not longer. Peter, who was nerdy and cool and fought every bully he came across with razor-sharp wit. Peter, who thought that _MJ_ was cool even when they were both the weird kids in the corner of the playground. When MJ got popular and Peter didn’t, she refused to let it affect their friendship. They were a package deal, the wannabe journalist and the aspiring photographer.

Peter had another friend, a year younger than them, who he had been spending more and more time with as of late. Her name was Gwen. Gwen Stacy. Gwen Stacy had entered the school with a bob of ice-blonde hair, a thick black hairband, and a sweater vest, and she caught MJ’s eye immediately. Something was special about her, she was sure of it.

Gwen was intriguing, there was no way around it. Like a puzzle for MJ to solve.

MJ always did like puzzles.

She watched Gwen from afar for a few weeks, introducing herself briefly when the blonde had come over to talk to Peter. Since then, Gwen had gone out of her way to greet her every time they crossed paths.

_“Hey, MJ.”_

_“Hi, MJ!”_

_“What’s up, MJ?”_

Her voice was pretty. Not overly sweet, like MJ’s. She’d be a good singer. MJ pretended like she didn’t replay those interactions over and over in her mind at night. When she lay in her bed in silky pajamas and hugged her teddy, she found her thoughts wandering back to them. Every time Gwen said hello, the redhead responded with a goofy grin and a _“Hey, Gwen! How are you?”_

Gwen was always too far away to hear the question by that point. MJ hoped she didn’t sound as stupid as she felt.

For a while that was all their relationship was. Gwen was fascinating and MJ was fascinated. She doubted even Peter had noticed.

Then Gwen started to change. First, she started to get fitter. It didn’t quite happen overnight, but MJ certainly took notice of the new toning in her classmate’s thighs and biceps.

She noticed. She certainly didn’t _gawk_ , or imagine what kind of sport the girl could be playing that had such a striking effect. (If she did, though, she’d guess it was either swimming, or maybe softball.)

Later, Peter mentioned something about dance lessons. MJ absolutely was _not_ delighted by this development. Not in the slightest.

The second big change happened when Gwen returned after a day of absence (not that MJ was looking for her) with a _haircut_. The side of her head had been shaved, and it gave her a more tomboyish and rebellious aura.

MJ thought the haircut looked nice.

So nice, in fact, that when she’d first encountered the new-and-improved Gwen, she’d nearly been rendered speechless.

“Oh! Gwen!” She had tried not to gape. It was a significant difference to what she was used to. But, it was still the same light blue eyes and barely-there tooth gap that she knew and admired. She blurted the first thing that came to mind. “I love your hair! It looks cute!”

MJ had slipped away before Gwen could respond, cheeks burning from embarrassment.

_Cute_.

That was the best she could come up with?

Not that Gwen wasn’t cute, but it felt like that was something to keep inside, and _hey, wait a minute!_

_She thought Gwen was cute._

MJ shook her head, trying to jar the offending thought out of her brain. She did not have a crush on Gwen Stacy. She did _not!_

…Even if she did, it seemed like she and Peter had an unspoken thing. MJ wouldn’t want to interfere. She loved Peter like the little brother she never had. She wanted to see him happy. If Peter being happy meant letting him have Gwen, MJ was fine with that.

Peter didn’t have a thing for Gwen, though, as MJ soon learned. He had a boyfriend in the grade above them, named Wade, apparently. MJ tried not to be too offended that she was just learning this.

However, that did leave Gwen open for the taking.

( _Not_ _that she had a crush on Gwen! She didn’t. This was all hypothetical_.)

She worked up the nerve to ask Gwen for her number, under the guise of a school reporter looking to interview current students enrolled in the arts programs. Gwen told her all about music lessons and dancing and art club and how music has been scientifically proven to better the learning process. MJ listened, she listened and offered her own two cents, over the course of a month.

When she decided with Betty and Glory to form a band, she didn’t hesitate to nominate her friend Gwen Stacy to be their drummer.

Gwen was glad to join their group, and her unique, instinctive perspective played against MJ’s textbook music sheets and note letters in a way none of them could have predicted. It was incredible.

MJ got them a gig, playing a few numbers for the talent show at school. They even picked a few of their own songs to play. MJ was practically vibrating with excitement by the time the night had arrived.

Gwen never showed.

They had to use a drum machine. They played fine, but MJ was distraught. Those fifteen minutes spent awkwardly stalling onstage while waiting for who she thought was her friend to never show up were humiliating and terrifying.

She wanted to scream at Gwen about it. But come Monday, the girl wouldn’t even make eye contact with her. MJ started to get worried. Maybe something had happened to her over the weekend. She knew Gwen’s dad worked in the police force. _Did something happen? Was she okay?_

MJ marched towards the corner table where she knew Gwen sat at lunch, ready to go in with an open mind and heart. Before she could even get within earshot, she saw Gwen and Peter, sitting together, laughing at something.

Maybe they were laughing out of pain.

Maybe it was her way of coping with stress.

Maybe Peter had made an ill-timed joke, and she was laughing out of pity.

Maybe she hadn’t figured out a way to approach MJ yet.

_Maybe she didn’t want to talk to MJ anymore._

She turned away and walked back to Betty and Glory before she could make a fool of herself. Her heart clenched and squeezed as she went, and she couldn’t ignore the pain in her chest by now.

Mary Jane Watson didn’t have a crush on Gwen Stacy. If it did exist, it would be more of a squish.

Regardless of size, by god did it hurt.

It hurt like hell and she didn’t know how to make it stop.


	2. the crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MJ wants answers. She has a few ideas where she could get them from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> due to unexpected (read: existent) feedback/demand, here's part two!! i'd love to hear what you think of it :)

MJ was no stranger to being ignored. She was accustomed to unreciprocated waves, frivolous details to repay her rampant oversharing, odd looks tossed her way. They were a part of life, one that she had learned to shoulder alongside the rest of her burdens.

What she wasn’t used to was being ignored by the people she cared about.

Sure, she cared about her classmates, but this time she meant her _friends._  Real, actual loved ones, who gave her effort and investment without her having to ask.

She and Gwen were in a worse spot than when they started. Their whole relationship had taken two steps forward, and three steps back. MJ couldn’t get her vocal cords to work properly whenever she saw her, so she settled for smiling hopefully and ignoring the twist of her stomach and the flutter of her chest _(not a crush)._

And Gwen? Gwen never once met her gaze.

Three days into this treatment, MJ couldn’t take it anymore.

“Alright, what happened.” She demanded, slamming her books down on Peter’s desk.

He looked up in surprise. “What?”

“Gwen.” MJ stated, arms crossed and mouth scowling. “What happened with Gwen.”

“I—I don’t know.” Peter spluttered, fixing his glasses nervously.

Her eyes narrowed. “Liar.”

Peter was the worst liar she’d ever met. His eye twitched and he could never keep his eyes on one spot. MJ knew he was throwing her a surprise 13th birthday party a full month before it happened. She knew he was lying about tutoring on Friday nights, which is how she found out about Wade, regretfully.

“She’s… she’s going through a lot right now,” Peter allowed, speaking hesitantly as though if he went any faster the words would come tumbling out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you out of the loop about it, but it’s not really my place to tell?”

MJ huffed. That was fair. As much as she’d deny it, if she were Peter she would have probably done the same. He was being a good friend to Gwen. MJ had to push down the sudden torrent of jealousy that came over her at that thought. It wasn’t her place to get jealous. Peter was allowed to have other friends, besides her. Gwen was allowed to ignore her, if that was what she really wanted.

That being said, MJ never was the suffer-in-silence type.

“Tell her to meet me in the band room, later today. After band practice. If she wants to talk.” She forced the sentences into the air before she could second-guess herself. She wanted to know _why_ , and if that meant possibly getting stood up in the process, then so be it.

The band room had always been notorious for its four o’clock stampedes, because nobody wanted to be in that room for longer than they had to be. MJ made herself as flat against the wall as she could and attempted to be as inconspicuous as possible. Her deep red curls were always a hindrance in that category, but she had learned after years of sneaking into places she shouldn’t be that people rarely bothered to look where they didn’t see movement. Good thing MJ wasn’t as jumpy as some of her friends (Peter).

When the last of the band students had cleared out, MJ sidled into the band room and occupied herself with organizing the piles of sheet music that had been strewn about the table at the front of the room. Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony. Vivaldi’s Spring. In the Hall of the Mountain King. The Imperial March. This year’s concert should be exciting.

“Hey.”

MJ whirled at the sound, an apology for snooping on the tip of her tongue, only to come face-to-face with her not-crush, Gwen Stacy.

“Oh, hi, Gwen.” She wasn’t blushing. That would be ridiculous. Seeing Gwen was supposed to make her angry, not… whatever this was.

Gwen looked guilty, to her credit. Her face was downcast and she leaned against the wall in a way that was equal parts nonchalant and _like-a-kicked-puppy._

“I’m sorry.” She said earnestly. “I was the worst. I know you probably won’t forgive me, which is totally justified, considering I can’t tell you why I did it.”

MJ opened her mouth to protest. What was _that_ supposed to mean?

“I know.” Gwen sighed. “I’m—I really am sorry, but I just. I can’t.”

She was tempted to push for the information, but Gwen just seemed so genuine, and so helpless. Peter did always make fun of her for being too soft. (The joke was on him, though. She’d caught him tearing up at _Titanic_ about a month ago.)

Something grabbed her attention before she could say anything, though. What looked like green gas, coming through the vent near the ceiling.

“Hey—Gwen?” She prodded the girl on the arm. “What do you think that is?”

The blonde cursed. “I’ll be right back. Bathroom.” She added, almost as an afterthought.

MJ was a little miffed, she wasn’t going to lie. But she supposed nature called. She busied herself observing the odd green air seeping into the room.

Not a full five minutes later, and half the exterior wall blew open. MJ suppressed a scream and ducked for cover under the table.

She couldn’t see much of what was going on, but she spotted a winged figure floating in the gaping hole of the wall. It made loud mechanical whirring noises and had glowing green eyes. MJ backed further under the table when she thought the thing’s eyes met hers.

The next thing she knew, another sound had entered the area. A voice, one that seemed young and friendly. Something about the newcomer told MJ that she was safe.

“Hey, Flappy Bird, haven’t seen you in a hot minute! What brings you to this neck of the woods?”

MJ risked another peek above the table. A lithe, white figure was dancing mid air around the winged thing, who had moved from its stationary position to aim powerful purple blasts at the smaller being, who in turn whirled over and around each projectile with practiced grace.

Spider-Woman. MJ was being saved by Spider-Woman. _Don’t freak out. Don’t do it, MJ. Your life is possibly on the line here._

“Oh, my God.” She whispered. This was happening.

The next time she poked her head out, she waved discreetly in the direction of the dueling supers. Spider-Woman finally noticed her, and nodded to show that she knew she was there. Or, at least, MJ hoped that was what it meant.

“Alright, come on, man. I was in the middle of a really important conversation, can we wrap this up?”

Spider-Woman shot a web towards the metal table MJ was hiding under, and pulled it directly up with no visible strain. MJ bet she looked pretty silly sitting exposed with her hands over her head. Her savior whapped the winged intruder across the face, and it shot to the ground.

“Here, miss.” Spider-Woman wrapped an arm around MJ’s waist and swung her away before she could react. “He won’t stay down for long.”

Halfway through their ascent, swinging towards an apartment complex a few buildings away, a sudden and very pressing thought crossed MJ’s mind.

_Gwen._

She swore.

“Hey—hey—Spider-Woman—” She struggled against the hero’s muscular arms. “You need to let me go! You have to go back, my—my friend is still in there! I won’t stop fighting until you save her, too! What if that thing wakes up again and gets her before you get back? Oh God, she’s gonna die—”

“MJ.” Spider-Woman said.

“Just— _one second, geez_ —let me finish—”

Spider-Woman knew her name.

_“What the hell?”_

Said arachnid brought them to a halt, setting MJ gently down on the roof of the building and crouching on the barrier that ran around its edges.

“If you’d just listen,” She scolded. “I was going to tell you.”

Tell her _what?_

“Actually, that’s a lie. I probably would’ve chickened out. Now I guess I don’t have much of a choice, though. Probably for the best.”

Spider-Woman, the ghost of New York City, reached for her forehead and tore off her mask to reveal…

_Gwen Maxine Freaking Stacy._

MJ took a moment to process.

“This is why you missed the concert.” She stated slowly, trying to make sense of the words even as she spoke them. “And why you look like… that. Is this why you got a haircut?”

Gwen smirked. “It’s a long story, but yeah. Essentially.”

And God, she was such a dork. A kind, thoughtful, noble, valiant, absolutely gorgeous _dork._

MJ grabbed Gwen by the cheeks and kissed her hard. Because she wanted to.

Mary Jane Watson had a crush the size of Texas on Gwen Stacy, and she was completely at peace with it. Because it was the best thing that had happened to her since she discovered investigative reporting.

(Read: _it was amazing.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol anyways can someone lmk how to unlock this ending irl


End file.
